Days 5-7: The Irony Isn't Lost on Me

Days 5-7 pretty much looked the same. Ironically, I started to think more about the catheter issue from before. While it no longer felt like flames of burning lava when I peed, I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit every single time I took meds, drank, or "ate" my liquid diet. Because... Every single time, the only way to get those things into my mouth and down my throat were through this ingenious contraption given to me by the hospital:

If you're thinking, hmmm... That looks like a syringe attached to a catheter... Well, yes, yes it is... That painful device was also the only thing that made sure I got my liquid meds and liquid diet. No, the irony was not lost on me.

I didn't post during days 5-7 and I really only got outside one day during that time. But, as a recap of those days, here's what my day looked like:

1. Wake up around 5:00-6:00 in the morning, take:
1. Clinamycin
2. Pseudafed
3. Ibuprofen
4. Oxycodone
5. Eat a protein shake
6. Swish mouth with salt water
7. Swish mouth with Chlorohexidine (spelling)
8. It's now about an hour and a half to two hours later and you're exhausted.
2. Fall asleep around 8:00
3. Wake up again around 10:00
1. Tylenol
2. Oxycodone
3. Drink some water
4. Swish with salt water
5. A half an hour to an hour has passed and you're exhausted
4. Fall asleep around 11:00
5. Wake up around 12:00
1. More meds
2. Protein shake
3. Swish with salt water
4. Swish with medicated salt rinse...

I think you get the idea. At this point, I was on 11 different prescribed medications plus several over the counter meds to manage-all with different dosing times. I slept probably 16 hours a day or more. It seemed the only time I was awake, I was taking meds or attempting to "eat" through a syringe.

Because a hat makes everything look better, the one day I did get outside, I brought a hat. Clearly, you can see this is hardly even noticeable when I wear a hat:

When I wasn't sleeping, taking meds, "eating" through a syringe, or doing my photo shoot, I made up a fun game. I may sell it to Hasboro or some other marketing genius company. If you'd like to try it with your friends at home before it becomes a global sensation, here are the instructions: you and a group of friends look at the pictures above (or any of them that I've posted thus far). Start naming colors you see in my face and neck. Each color is worth 10 points. The first person to 250 points wins. Surprisingly, playing by myself, I won every single time. I treated myself to another round of meds and a protein shake.