The Journey to a Bionic Man

Some of you may know already, but many of you don't. I'm going to be taking a journey very soon. I want to document some of my progress. That journey is the first step toward becoming a bionic man... Well, not really, but I'm going to have a boatload of metal holding my face together by the end. That counts as bionic, right?

I've had a CPAP (machine that blows air constantly into my mouth and nose) for the past 3 years and it only helps bring that cycle from every 3 minutes to an average of every 5-6 minutes. So, two years into this is when I met Dr. Sean Edwards, an Oral and Maxilliofacial Surgeon at University of Michigan. This guy holds a DDS (degree to be a dentist) and an MD (a medical doctor). So, I half wonder if I should be calling him Doctor Doctor Edwards. Seems like it might be fun. But, he still insists I call him "Sean".

Here's a great picture of me training to be a fighter jet pilot... Well, actually, that's me with my CPAP mask on, but who is keeping track?

I have had sleep apnea diagnosed for the last 3 years (but I probably had it for years before that, possibly my entire life). I'm only 30, weigh about 165 pounds and stand almost 6' tall. I also have a slim neck. By all standards, I do not fit the mold for someone to have sleep apnea. But, I have had a pretty severe jaw deformation my whole life. Many people tell me it's fairly unnoticeable, but I'm finally on the journey to have it repaired.

If you're not familiar with sleep apnea, basically, when I sleep and my jaws relax, it closes the airways and I stop breathing. I have a jaw deformation that causes my airways to be smaller than they're supposed to be when I'm awake. Then, when I fall asleep, my jaws relax and close off my airway. My body then realizes it is essentially suffocating, wakes me up slightly, my jaws go back to their tense state, and I begin breathing again. This cycle repeats on average, every 3 minutes. As you can imagine, that's not a great cycle for your brain to process, for energy to return, or wake feeling rejuvenated. That's why, if you've ever seen me in the morning, I am essentially a cranky zombie until I've had coffee... Well, at least that's the story I'm sticking to for now. After surgery, I may have to change my excuse.

Back to the surgery... To simplify things, my airways look like the left-hand side of the picture below now (narrow). The surgery they'll do will cut off my top jaw, reposition it, cut the back of my bottom jaw so it is no longer connected and reposition it. Both jaws will then be held into their new positions with screws and plates. That will open the airway like the right-hand side of the picture (note how much wider the airway is).

If you're really curious, the top jaw movement is called a "Lefort 1 osteotomy", the bottom jaw a "bilateral sagittal split osteotomy" and they're also doing a "sliding genioplasty" to balance it all out. Basically, that's fancy "doctor speak" of, "we're going to break your entire face, from the nose down, into pieces and then put it all back together with metal." I still prefer to say I'm on my way to becoming a bionic man. Seems slightly more comforting and less emasculating than admitting I went to a doctor and asked him to break my face apart and then put it back together again...

Of course, while the outcome is going to be great, all of this also means I'm on an all liquid diet for 2 weeks, mashed and blended foods for 2 more weeks, and then slowly transitioning back to normal foods after that. I'm told there will be massive swelling. If you like pictures, this is for you. I imagine, when I hear the doctors describe massive swelling afterwards, that means I'll look something like this**:

Signed,
The Future Bionic Man
(but, you may still call me "Tim"-if you must)




**Disclaimer, it may appear so, but this is not an actual artist's rendition of me swollen... ;)